Giving encouraging, constructive, and useful feedback is without any doubt, an art. I have learned to give feedback in a variety of contexts and have noticed that the quality of the feedback I give suffers depending on how attached I am to the outcome. In other words, is my intention to connect with the person and offer a suggestion so that they can improve what they do in some way, or do I want to change how the person behaves (even though in my mind the change would be an improvement)?
Approaching feedback in the spirit of connection opens up the possibility to the individual of seeing the impact of what they do through the eyes of others and of making a choice of their own to change.
In a team, where everyone works towards a common goal and everyone's work depends on each other, there will always be a bottom line, a behavior that needs to stop or change so that the team can function. However, even in those situations, if the spirit in which you approach giving feedback is one of control then the working relationship will suffer. Just think, how do you feel when someone is trying to coerce or control you?
How would your feedback look if first and foremost you had an intention to connect as opposed to controlling the outcome?
Approaching feedback in the spirit of connection opens up the possibility to the individual of seeing the impact of what they do through the eyes of others and of making a choice of their own to change.
In a team, where everyone works towards a common goal and everyone's work depends on each other, there will always be a bottom line, a behavior that needs to stop or change so that the team can function. However, even in those situations, if the spirit in which you approach giving feedback is one of control then the working relationship will suffer. Just think, how do you feel when someone is trying to coerce or control you?
How would your feedback look if first and foremost you had an intention to connect as opposed to controlling the outcome?
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